


The Joke's On Harley

by cassacain



Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Cheating, F/F, Falling In Love, Hook-Up, how did they get from the club to harley's room, i had to fill in the gaps, tw cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24742573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassacain/pseuds/cassacain
Summary: This is what happens off-screen during Poison Ivy's bachelorette, the first time she and Harley hooked up.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Comments: 5
Kudos: 177





	The Joke's On Harley

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Please enjoy ♡

Hedonnika smelled smoky and the floor was grimy, an accumulation of spilt drinks, dancefloor-sweat, and a general lack of attention to cleanliness. The place was loud with blaring music, flashing rainbow lights, and gorgeous half-naked men, practically the postcard representation of a perfect bachelorette. 

And, on top of that, the girls finally decided to all play nice, which filled Harley’s cheeks with pink joy because she was responsible for making that happen, and she could tell Ivy noticed by how elated she is. Ivy kept shooting Harley fire-filled glances, and she was touchier than normal, but Harley wondered if she was over-thinking things again.

It could be nothing, but Harley suspected Ivy was thinking of the kiss too. She couldn’t tell if Ivy hated the kiss or pushed down how she felt about the kiss, and ultimately it didn’t matter as the result was clear: Ivy was still as bothered by it as Harley was, but she wanted to ignore that it had happened.

That was fine, Harley could ignore it, even if the leftover tension from the kiss reverberated through both Ivy and Harley’s minds as if it had happened moments—not days—ago. As if the awkward stranded-desert conversation about “adrenaline” and “just a moment” never happened and was never subsequently reiterated by Ivy in a blurry shut-Harley-down panic. 

A panic that hurt Harley, deeply, to her core. Spurned, broken-heart pain. Not that Ivy noticed. She was nervous for her bachelorette and the small ragtag group of girls that comprised her “friend-group” which could only be called that generously. But Harley decided early-on that she was going to redeem herself by pulling through and making it incredible for Ivy. 

She could tell she was succeeding, because she stood side-by-side with Ivy, their arms looped over each other’s shoulders, drinks in both their hands. Before they moved, they abandoned their empty drinks on the table.

Ivy dragged Harley around with her, grabbing Selina by the shoulders as she shouted, half from necessity over the music and crowd, half just because she was excited and tipsy, “Oh shit! Cobb squad reunion! Remember when you two met? Let’s get Cobb Squad tattoos, oh my god let’s do that! We’re all getting matching tattoos!” As she yelled the last part, she threw her arm up in the air, releasing Selina before grabbing Harley’s free hand with other one, pressing her cheek against Harley’s forehead. Harley enjoyed the unique, incredibly natural fragrance Ivy emitted, a mixture of dewy jungle vines and the sweet perfume of a flower.

Ivy released her quickly and they began dancing, Ivy continuing to babble, “I know you made everyone pretend to get along at the restaurant, you know,” Harley’s eyes went wide; Ivy realized that? But she quickly continued, “But now they actually are! You did that, you always go the extra mile for me.”

She turned, grabbing Harley’s hands. Ivy had longer hands, but her fingers were piano-thin, and they were smooth and cool in Harley’s hands. “I’m your best friend,” Harley said, insistently asserting her importance in Ivy’s life.

“You are my best friend,” Ivy affirmed at once, a softness to her voice that made Harley’s chest twist up. It reminded her of the tender, orange gleam in Ivy’s eyes right before they both surged forward, their lips meeting. Cliché as it sounded, just that look was enough to make Harley’s heart sing. Golden sunlight, harps, true love’s kiss. If all that felt like giddiness in her chest and a burning desire in her groin, she was feeling it.

“I only aim to plea—oof!” Harley was cut off when Ivy surged forward, sudden and surprising, pushing their lips together. She jerked back at once.

“Crap, too much?” Ivy asked, quickly, but Harley cut her off by smashing their lips together again, shutting her eyes to relish the kiss. The kiss deepened for a moment, and then Ivy jerked back, pulling her lips away. Harley was just getting ready to complain when Ivy whispered. “Wanna continue this elsewhere?” She looked around, indicating that they needed to be more covert.

Harley grinned, and, taking Ivy’s hand, led her into Hedonnika’s bathrooms. Surprisingly, they were immaculate, as if to admit they knew the purpose was hook-ups and they wanted to accommodate their guests. There were plush red couches lining the walls on one side, a room opening with bathroom stalls on the other, and tall ornate mirrors over sinks with marble basins.

“Ooh, the couch looks comfy,” Harley grinned, grunting when she was shoved down onto it. She spun around to face Ivy as she straddled her, and the moment she was on her back Ivy was pressing their lips together again. 

Harley returned the kiss with vigor, and, because she figured Ivy may cut this off at any moment, she ran her hands through the silky, sweet-smelling red hair that was Ivy’s crowning feature. She’d been daydreaming about the chance to put her fingers in Ivy’s hair. 

The kiss was vigorous and rough, Harley’s lips aching from the force of Ivy’s kiss and her own ambition to outdo her, when Harley in a quick motion pulled her legs out from under Ivy and hooked them around Ivy’s waist instead. Ivy nearly overbalanced with the enthusiastic motion, and at the same time the bathroom door opened.

“Shit,” Ivy hissed, and Harley giggled, wind-milling her legs off the couch, snatching Ivy’s hand, and leading her swiftly into the bathroom. The stall door clanged behind them, and Harley took the opportunity to push Ivy tight against the door. For a moment, Ivy’s face read hesitation, so Harley threw herself into the kiss faster, rolling her tongue against Ivy’s. Ivy relaxed again, putting her arms around Harley and allowing Harley to support her weight, shifting her legs to either side of her.

Harley quickly slid the jacket off. “I don’t want it touching the floor,” Ivy mumbled.

“It won’t,” Harley replied swiftly, enjoying the delicate, round curves of Ivy’s green shoulders, the smoothness of her emerald skin. She kissed her again, on the neck this time, enjoying the way her chin bumped Ivy’s collar bone. She pressed their bodies tighter together, the friction and heat eliciting an early, excited little moan from Ivy. 

Harley took that as further prompting and rolled Ivy’s tshirt up, delighted to find a green bra only a few shades darker than Ivy’s skin. “This your idea of nude-colored?” Harley teased.

“Ha-ha. Only if yours is pure white,” Ivy flirted right back, and Harley pulled a college move, biting the bra to make Ivy laugh. She was drunk enough it worked, and Harley unlatched it swiftly, excited to reveal Ivy’s petite, round breasts. Harley had a nipple in her mouth before the bra was pushed off, and she took the moment to leverage the situation, pulling Ivy’s leg up over her hip and grinding against her again.

Suddenly, Harley was hit with the urge to move more quickly. At any moment, Ivy might decide she wanted to pull away, that this was over. In a half-dizzied fervor, Harley left hickeys across Ivy’s chest, popping Ivy against the door with her thigh and holding her up with one arm, her free arm yanking Ivy’s tights down and reaching for her frilly green undies.

“Oh—hold it, wait, tampon,” Ivy said, her voice defeated. “I mean, it’s almost over so it shouldn’t be a big deal, I’m only still wearing it because I wanted to wear my cute underwear, just to feel sexy…but I get it if you want to stop.”

“No stopping,” Harley said, more intensely than she meant. Ivy’s eyebrows went up. “I mean, unless you want to.”

Ivy smirked. “I’m cool. Let me get this, though.” Quickly, Ivy set on removing tampon, and Harley turned her back even though she didn’t see the need to. She was revved up, ready to go, and while Ivy turned her back she got the idea to take off her top and unlatch her bra strap.

“Ready, Harls,” Harley turned around with a grin, and was surprised when Ivy pushed her suddenly against the stall door, enough to make it rattle and cause the other people in the bathroom to giggle at their aggressive making out. Harley shut her eyes and tried to memorize the feeling of Ivy’s tongue in her mouth, every movement seeming to run on a line connected from her tongue to her clitoris. Just as she thought she couldn’t bristle with more excitement, Ivy’s hands were in her shorts, rubbing against her.

“Oh, yes, that’s perfect,” Harley muttered passionately into Ivy’s mouth, gripping her shoulders and quickly springing up, wrapping her legs around her waist. Ivy somehow anticipated that leap of faith, and held Harley up tightly against her, leaning Harley’s back against the stall to help manage her weight. She littered her neck with kisses, her thumb settling to her work Harley’s clit as she slid in a finger. Harley groaned in pleasure against Ivy’s tongue, and Ivy suddenly transitioned to littering her neck with kisses.

“I think someone’s hooking up in there,” some girl at the sink whispered to her friends, giggling snidely. Harley was too busy writhing towards Ivy’s fingers to care, but she saw the conversation register in Ivy’s eyes. Ivy ignored it, moving faster and harder instead, and all too quickly an initially pulsing shudder ran through Harley, from her core out to her toes, to the top of her head. She grabbed onto Ivy’s shoulders and ground down as Ivy bent to kiss her chest, and the image of Ivy kissing her bare skin was enough to send her over.

The orgasm coursed in warm, comforting waves through her body, making her tremble. If she could have stretched the bludgeoning sensations out to span her entire life, she would have. The bathroom stall felt as if it was lit up neon, her and Ivy’s entangled bodies a mere silhouette.

And then she was coming back down, and she realized she was firmly gripping a large chunk of Ivy’s hair, making her wince. Harley relented that grasp, and Ivy immediately said, “Do you always scream when you cum?” With an edge of criticism.

Harley covered her mouth and Ivy laughed, shaking her head. “I should have known public sex and you wouldn’t mix.”

Relief flooded Harley. “At least you know it was really freaking good.” A hunger flashed in Ivy’s eyes, and suddenly she was pulling her clothes back on.

“Come on, we gotta get out of here. There’s more than one ferry out of here tonight, the others can get along on their own. Let’s go,” Harley was surprised by Ivy’s insistence to go and, presumably, continue the night, but without a second’s hesitation she redressed and followed her quickly out of the stall. She absolutely wasn’t going to be the one to end tonight, not when she hadn’t had a chance to push Ivy over the edge. 

Ivy slunk quickly along the wall of the club, reaching the exit without being noticed. Even if all their friends weren’t drunk or otherwise occupied (or, in Selina’s case, nowhere to be seen), Harley doubted anyone would have noted their absence. They darted out into the night, the air cool as they took the ferry back. Ivy kept glancing at her mischievously, electricity passing between the two of them.

Harley’s heart picked up. This was wrong, a thousand times wrong, and later on she’d be disgusted with herself for this, but right now all she wanted to think about was herself and what she wanted. She raced after Ivy up into the resort, Harley tugging Ivy into her room.

“It’s your turn,” Harley grinned as she closed the door after them, and what happened next was a maelstrom of clothing thrown everywhere, nails raked over skin, bodies bumping roughly against walls and furniture. Harley was always her best when she was out of control, so she let herself lean on the alcohol she’d drank and the raw desire in her gut and she turned into a hurricane of desire and animalistic technique.

She pinned Ivy to the wall, making out with her as she ground slowly, steadily against her. Ivy groaned, the sensations escalated when Harley found her clit and fooled with it as she continued. Harley just wanted to close her eyes and press her face into the nook of Ivy’s neck, and huddle there, safe and content with a perfect smell.

A flurry of movement and next she’d pinned Ivy to the bed, kissing down the length of her narrow, runway-model figure, lingering on the soft curve of her hips, before she went for her homerun. If this didn’t send Ivy over the edge, she had no clue what would.

It didn’t take long for Ivy’s hands to knot in Harley’s hair, for her to quickly readjust, tilting her hips up to give Harley better access, and all too soon her moans escalated. Harley felt her muscles tense and, knowing she was close, pressed her tongue further.

Ivy’s let out a cry, her hold on Harley tightening, her thighs going rigid, and suddenly relaxing. “Harley!” She exclaimed, her voice lush with what Harley knew to be earth-shattering pleasure, and Harley beamed to herself. They were one for one, and Harley was realistic; she knew the night couldn’t continue from there.

But then Ivy grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her up, flipping her over, and finding her way back on top. “I know you’ve got more endurance than that?”

Harley only needed a second to register the shift in the room before she went back to kissing Ivy, enjoying the sensation of their bodies tangled together. This night was ecstasy, perfection, everything Harley dreamed of; a part of her became convinced that this was some kind of alcohol-provoked hallucination, and she was like Alice tumbling around in wonderland.

Daylight would serve to rip that notion in two.

**Author's Note:**

> so ngl i hated the angle of what happened btw HQ and Ivy, i would have preferred it if the writers took a different, more creative angle than the cheating/love triangle thing, but i also could not stop wondering what filled the blanks btw HQ and Ivy partying and then subsequently hooking up, the emotions they were feeling, etc etc...so, thus, i had to write this haha
> 
> ALSO i had to somehow address the tampon joke they made earlier in the episode lol, i couldn't just ignore that the same episode they hooked up Ivy apparently was experiencing shark week
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoyed, and let me know down below what you think, if the cheating angle somehow worked for you (or just feel free to share if you have an interesting/unusual perspective on it) and have a good day!


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